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reverse chronological order [part 2] (revitalized by snail cream)

from pain mop girl 2020 by default genders

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lyrics

brenda and eddie were the popular steadies, and the king and the queen of the prom
so he was the first to be asked where he thought she'd get heroin from
the cops had some thoughts of their own about photos they saw from that night
but nothing conclusive - just talks with the usual low level guys.
to make it more potent, they'd mixed all their dope with a fentanyl spike,
and the reality is that fatalities hit new and terrible highs
cuz that tends to be the main difference between like, a tyical night
and this doctor's disturbingly stubborn refusal to say she'll survive.

remember when eddie was giving her plenty
of reasons to wish he was gone?
asleep on the couch with some lines he'd cut out
and the TV still on.
a flickering light that persists through the night, and an audible hum
ocarina of time droning endlessly on from the dusk until dawn.
sometimes she would wake up and suddenly find herself draped in his arms
other times she would pass him while going to class and escape from his charms.
"i love him," she'd think to herself as she left. "but i think he forgets that i'm young. someone my age, i just should not be wasting my time here replacing his mom."

brenda and eddie had started already by the time i called up from out front
with gigantic eyes i'm like, "where did you guys get this ketamine from??"
half of the way into all conversations i'd just let my side of it drop
it must have been good, cuz no one understood what i said when i'd talk.
in some deep dark corner we'd all find each other, and try to detach from the mob
just to dissolve into laughter without ever speaking at all.
years could have passed while we sat trying to act like we weren't so completely fucked up -
generations of strangers replaced by their ancestors as we just sat there and watched.

credits

from pain mop girl 2020, released April 20, 2020

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jaime brooks Portland, Oregon

a careless man's careful daughter

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